This year marks seven years since we moved to Kenya. Africa had been on our hearts and minds for more than a decade before we moved here, and now we've spent the past seven years pouring our hearts and minds into living and loving here. This place, this life, is home.
Although a myriad of reflections come to mind, the one at the forefront has to do with a song. Since my memory is terrible, I can't remember when it became pivotal to us. I can't remember when Eli made the connection between this song and our life, or when he started singing it to our boys at night. But many years ago the song became an anthem of sorts, and ever since it's been a way of putting into words what we sometimes can't voice ourselves but resonate with completely when we hear the familiar opening strain and subsequent lyrics.
"Faithfully" by Journey has reminded us of the call we pursue and the commitment we make every day, to the ministry and to each other.
I would not have felt a particular connection to this song on my own, but when Eli first told me what the song meant to him and why, I recognized how meaningful it was.
The song is about a musician touring on the road and spending long days away from his love, away from his family. But if you replace the musician in the song with a medical missionary, it hits home for us. (And, I would wager, it would hit home for any number of staff working at a mission hospital. We have dear friends/colleagues who similarly struggle to balance life and ministry and who would definitely resonate with all of these thoughts.)
"They say the road ain't no place to start a family."
Medical missions ain't no way to start a family either. Although Eli isn't literally travelling away from home most of the time, he gives a significant amount of time to the hospital and is gone from home because of it. I vividly recall the lonely days and nights of taking care of our three little kids single-handedly while Eli took care of everyone else at the hospital. Even now, our kids are familiar with the routine of calling Dad to say goodnight because he won't make it home before bedtime. I don't feel the weight of it as much as I did when we had babies and toddlers, but it's never easy for the boys to say goodbye to Eli in the morning and then not see him again that day.
"And lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be."
The work of a medical missionary can often sound exciting and exotic - working in a remote, resource-deprived context and saving lives. While that is true, it's also true that living the life of a medical missionary takes a huge toll on these healthcare workers who see more death than anyone should have to in a lifetime, and who feel completely inadequate on a regular basis to meet the insurmountable needs of too many people with too few personnel to bear the load. And this life also takes a toll on the family members of the medical missionary. When Eli comes home depleted after a long day at the hospital, it impacts us. When he has to take phone calls at all times of day or night, it impacts us. When he has to attend another meeting after the meeting he just finished, it impacts us. "Lovin' a medical missionary ain't always what it's supposed to be." It's not always glamorous.
"Through space and time, always another show."
We really resonate with this. There's always something else to be done, always someone else who needs his attention, always one more phone call before coming home. There's never an end to the work, just pausing until it demands to be picked up again. And often the work follows you home. One of the themes of medical missions is that there's never enough people to do all the work. It's a reality that doesn't change, and a reality every medical missionary has to come to terms with and learn how to cope with.
Yep, I do. Because this life is worth it. It has its fair share of sacrifices, and it's worth it. It's worth every life saved, every resident trained, every step forward in improving the overall healthcare of a continent in desperate need of better medical outcomes.
I made a promise to Eli the day we married to pursue this calling of medical missions together for as long as the Lord directed us down this path. That promise remains.
"Faithfully."
Yes, yes, and yes again.
