Song for this Season

This summer has not been what I expected.  I thought Summer Break meant Mama Break, and maybe in another time and place that would be true.  But it has not been true in this time and place.  I had expectations of sending the boys outside all morning while I catch up on projects and read to my heart's content.  I had hopes of writing a lot.  I had dreamed of waking up early for the sole purpose of reading Scripture and actually starting my days with prayer.

Apparently those were high expectations.

Instead, Summer Break has meant Mama Gets No Breaks because in this time and place there are hearts that needs tending, relationships that need mending, and hopes kept from rending.  It's been a season not of keeping all the plates spinning, but of holding the one plate we've got tightly and securely.  It's been a season of hanging onto each other in the midst of relatively mundane days, learning to meet each other's needs in new ways since most of our anchors have up and gone.

A few years ago I wrote a song which has crept into my mind lately.  At the time we were finishing our first year on the mission field, and there were a thousand thoughts and emotions surging through me.  I still have a thousand thoughts and emotions, and although our circumstances now are vastly different than they were then, my heart easily identifies with the words and sentiments of this song.  So I've been singing it again, just to myself, just to pour something tangible out.

It's been a song for this season.

I love this picture below: our sons running home from the hospital with boundless energy, and the jacaranda tree in full bloom in the dry season.

For anyone else whose anchors have up and gone and who needs the encouragement of trees blooming in the dry season, here's a piece of my heart from me to you.

Narrow Way
© 2017 Krista Horn

Some say to take the road less traveled,
the path that’s not well-worn.
As I’ve journeyed down that road,
my heart’s grown as it’s been torn.
Torn for hopes not realized,
and yet grown through anguished cries.
As I’ve walked this narrow way,
He’s sustained me day by day.

Some say the harvest still is plenty,
and the workers still are few.
As I’ve seen this truth before me,
I’ve felt a harvest in me too.
Room to grow in love and peace,
pride and judgements – oh, to cease!
As I’ve walked this narrow way,
He’s refined me day by day.

Some say how great is the reward
for all those who pay the cost.
But some days the price is steep,
and His promises seem lost.
Is it true that there’s still worth
serving the ends of the earth?
As I’ve walked this narrow way,
He’s grieved with me day by day.

Some say that going against the current
requires being both strong and brave.
Yet as I’ve swam through this deep ocean
I’ve been floundering in the waves.
Floundering but sustained along
by a God who shames the strong.
As I’ve walked this narrow way,
He’s upheld me day by day.

Some say success is simply measured
by results that can be seen.
But what gauge can know the merit
of obedience to the King?
For a faithful heart is more
than the triumphs we long for.
As I’ve walked this narrow way,
He’s smiled on me day by day.

Some say to take the road less traveled,
the path that’s not well-worn.
As I fix my eyes on Jesus,
I still walk though I am torn.